My Favorite Metaphors for Anxiety & OCD

Metaphors are a great way to help explain and gain understanding about complex and vague topics or concepts. I use them all the time to normalize our mind’s responses, help explain treatment processes, illuminate unhelpful responses, and start building distress management skills. Below are some of my favorite metaphors for anxiety & OCD. There are so many amazing metaphors, so keep an eye out for part 2 of this!

Bear or Bush (for anxiety)

Anxiety is an extremely helpful emotion, alerting us to potential threats. When anxiety is extreme, it no longer becomes helpful, alerting us to danger that’s not there, even if it feels like it is. Then, our minds start warning us of potential danger everywhere, leading to worrying & avoidance. 

It’s like walking through a forest and seeing a shadow up ahead. Our mind alerts us that this shadow is a bear, and our adrenaline starts pumping to get us ready, and we avoid that path. If we would have walked closer, however, we would’ve realized the shadow is actually just a bush. This avoidance reinforces to our mind that we saved ourselves from that bear, so the next time we’re walking through the forest, and we see another shadow, we immediately run the other direction. Eventually, we stop going to the forest at all and never get to see the beautiful waterfall at the end. 

When working with excessive anxiety, we have to teach our brains how to manage the distress that shows up and keep walking even if we feel like we see bears everywhere. By doing this, not only does our brain learn that these perceived threats are just bushes, we also get to experience more of the things we want!

Relationship Tree (for relationship OCD and anxiety)

Relationships - family, friends, romantic, etc. - can be very challenging. There are ups and downs in every relationship, which can feel scary and uncertain. With heightened anxiety and/or relationship OCD, the “downs” (ie, disagreements, misunderstandings, lower connection, not feeling the same feelings every day, etc.) in a relationship can feel catastrophic and as though that person isn’t “The One.”

I like to think of relationships as a fruit tree. In the Spring, when the sun is out, there’s plenty of rain, and lots of pollinators around, the tree is in full bloom with beautiful flowers! In the Summer, when the tree has received months of sun, rain, and pollination, those flowers are replaced by delicious fruit. Once Fall starts coming, the tree has used a lot of nutrients & the nights get colder, leading to the tree no longer producing fruit and some of the leaves starting to die. By Winter, all the leaves have fallen off, the tree is bare, and it has gone into hibernation. Soon, though, Spring comes again, and the tree is in beautiful bloom!

Thinking of our relationships in this way, allows a wider perspective of when we feel “off” or disconnected from the other person. It gives us the opportunity to choose how to respond - maybe allowing the difficult season to pass, or exploring how to grow in connection & support. 

Well Worn Path (for building helpful skills & responses to distress)

Our brains function by finding the quickest, easiest way to bring down distress, even if those ways are unhelpful long-term. Once your brain finds a solution or response, it’ll continue doing that regardless of the effectiveness. 

It’s as if you continue to walk the same path every single day, even though it doesn’t actually bring you to where you want to be. That path is completely cleared from debris, it’s easy to find and access, and you know exactly where to put your feet. Through therapy, we can work towards building new skills and responses that are actually helpful in the long run. Doing this, however, takes time, consistency, and work. It’s like starting on a new path - there are branches in the way, you have to step over rocks & through grass, and it’s not easy to find. This path, however, ends in a meaningful, fulfilling place with all the people & things you love the most, so you’re willing to put in the effort to reach that place.

In our brains, we can’t get rid of those well-worn, unhelpful paths, so when things get challenging, we often default to that same response. Over time and with practice, though, we can reinforce this new pathway, so we can identify when we’ve gone down the well-worn path, and more quickly choose the new, helpful path!

Unwelcome Party Guest (for intrusive thoughts and fears)

We experience non-stop thoughts and emotions during the day. When you have OCD and/or experience high levels of anxiety, these thoughts & emotions become extremely distressing and can pull us away from the present moment & what’s important to us. 

It’s as if you threw a party in your house. All your favorite people are there, you have lots of yummy snacks & drinks, and you’re having a great time. All of the sudden, someone who really annoys you who wasn’t invited shows up. They barge in, start making a scene, and refuse to leave. You now have a choice for how to respond: 1) you spend the rest of the party arguing with this person and struggling to get them to leave, 2) you lock yourself in your room for the rest of the party just so you don’t have to deal with the person (but you still can hear them the whole time), or 3) you become frustrated they showed up, then allow them to stay while you return back to your friends, food, and fun music (eventually you start to forget they even showed up!). 

We have those same three responses when distressing thoughts & emotions show up in our minds: 1) struggle against our thoughts trying to get rid of them, 2) try to avoid our thoughts & situations that bring up the thoughts even though they keep coming back, or 3) we can acknowledge our thoughts then return back to what’s most important. Although this takes time to practice and develop the skills to do this, it’s very possible!

Scary Alleyways (for intrusive thoughts & anxiety)

Similar to the Unwelcome Party Guest, I think of intrusive thoughts and anxiety-thoughts to be like walking down a street with multiple dark, scary, uncertain alleyways. As you keep walking, someone pops out of the first one and starts saying all the “what ifs” that could happen if you don’t stop and come down the alley. The person is very enticing and convincing. If you turn down that alley, however, you’ll get pulled away from where you want to go. Then, you’ll spend enormous time & effort just trying to get back to the street. If you keep walking, you might continue to have people popping out, trying to get you to turn down their alley; however, you’ll be able to stay walking towards the place you want to be & the people you want to see. Over time, the people in the alleyways start to become just part of the street noise without making you stop or pulling your attention away from where you’re going.